I Just Don’t Care
Photo by Liber
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I should know better by now, I do know better, but like the Alzheimer’s patience I am, no doubt, destined to be someday I just forget. There is a reason why I don’t read many blogs, My rules for Good blogging aside, it may seem strange, or maybe I’m just a snob, but when it comes to blogs my basic feeling runs between ‘I just don’t care.’ and ‘I don’t really want to know.’
Maybe its part of the internet community. I take that back, I know its part of the internet community, but I learned long ago not to argue with what people write. In the past two days I have come across two separate blogs whose entries were either flatly wrong or so filled with vitriol that reading it actually left a bad taste in my mouth. Each time I thought about going to the bottom and leaving some comment to try and ‘educate’ the poor misled individual, I even considered writing about it on my blog and pointing to the post with my feelings on what was written. Each time I stopped myself, I stopped myself by remembering the times I had started dust ups the very same ways that these people started them. By posting what they believed.
I was thankful that neither of these entries were from what I refer to as my ‘net friends’ The people I podcast with and twitter with and regularly exchange emails with. Both were just things I stumbled across sort of friend of a friend of a friend style. (I’m kinda like Kevin Bacon like that on the internet I got fingers everywhere) I’m not going to point to the people, I’m not going to link to their posts, if you want to try I know that you can find posts out there that make you feel just how I feel right now. This post might be one of them. Let me just say this about the people and the posts that got me started on this.
Do I think they planned on starting something? Not really
Do I think they are bad people or somehow trying to ‘undermine’ anything? No
Do I think they believe what they are writing? Oh yeah
I actually think people are surprised when someone doubts their ‘un-doubtable’ logic or leaves them a comment that in a few thousand words pretty much says ‘YOU ARE SO STUPID YOU COULDN’T FIND YOUR BUTT WITH BOTH HAND, A GPS, A COMPASS, AND A MIRROR!!!!’ and when that happens, well lets just say that I have seen wonderful gentle serene people become right bastards. This doesn’t surprise me either
If you didn’t really believe it then you wouldn’t be taking the time to write a 15 page essay on how (insert political party) is as bad a Hitler because of (insert item that pisses you off) or that posting on how you know that (insert denomination) is full of heritcs because of the way they (have communion, light candles, or use THAT version of the bible, yeah you know the one I mean) I get it, I really do.
I just don’t care.
That may sound harsh, Ok, I know it sounds harsh, and maybe it is harsh in a way. The fact still remains that I don’t care, it doesn’t matter to me if you think the President of the USA is the ‘Next Great Hope’ or the ‘AntiChrist’ it doesn’t matter to me if you thing the KJV is ‘The One and Only True Scripture’ or ‘Satanic Plot to Weaken the Church’
I can hear you, you don’t believe me? That’s ok I can still hear you, you’re thinking “JT, if you Just don’t care like you say then why are you writing this?” That is a Good question, as I mulled over the answer I almost decided not to post this (If you’re reading this then you know how it turned out, if not then there is something spooky going on) but part of the answer is I kinda feel guilty. I feel a little tinge of guilt when hit the ‘Next’ button or the ‘Back’ button. It may sound silly but there it is. I wasn’t raised to ‘Not Care’ its, well, Rude.
I think what I’m learning is that it isn’t so much that I ‘don’t care’ as much as it is that these things ‘don’t matter’ to me (I’m not sure which one sounds ruder, I’m sure someone will let me know) Still even as I wrote it I realized that was it, thats what I feel ‘It just doesn’t matter’ I’m not worried about that, in the long run none of that stuff is important. How we affect those around us. The impression I have on the Interns that sit behind me as I write this. How you treat that guy in the cubicle next to you. What it means when someone says “Your a Christian, I never would of guessed” Those are the kinds of things I think about and those are the kinds of things that keep me awake at night. Those are the Kinds of things I fail at all the freaking time.
So you go on and write what you want but at the end of the day try this out. I lie back in bed and think about my day and wonder if what I did made a positive change in someones life? Did I help someone today or did I make things harder for someone? Do I carry hope or despair?
you know what, the past few months I will confess, I haven’t liked the answers I got.
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